Thursday, April 17, 2008
1:10 AM
It's only been a little more than 3 months since daddy passed away, and now I'm experiencing the same deja vu again.

I hate this feeling.

Seeing my ah gong lie on the hospital bed, looking so so much like how daddy did in his final hours..

My heart really broke.

I don't know to pray for a miracle or not. On one hand I don't want him to leave just like that, I really can't take another death of a loved one. Yet, I don't want to see him suffer the way he's suffering now.

Even the doctor said to be mentally prepared. I haven't even fully stabilised my own mental state after daddy left us.

Please don't give me this now. None of us needs it, or wants it. It's too muchh..

I may never have been really close to my ah gong, but I know he really doted on us. Although old age has robbed him of his memory and recognition skills, he's still my dear ah gong.

The one I promised myself whom I would take care of, the ah gong who reminds me too much of my daddy, the conservative grandpa who took pride in his work and silently doted on those around him..

I don't want this to be another cause for regret.

Yet at the same time, a part of me is prepared for the worst. Seeing the symptoms so similar to what I experienced a few months back..while it's heartbreaking, ironically, it's a familiar feeling. And that's the saddest part..

Life is full of harsh realities...and it never rains, but pours..

me
scribbled at
1:10 AM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Wednesday, April 16, 2008
6:45 PM
The jap exam is still ongoing, at least for the next hour.

And here I am, sitting in hall and blogging.

All because I completed the paper in 45mins, and waited till the one hour minimum stay limit was up, before leaving the exam hall.

I can seriously say it was the easiest paper I've ever done la. Omgoshh. It's the kind that confirm can score A.

AND I BLOODY S/U-ed THE MODULE.

I feel like giving myself a pat on the back, while strangling myself at the same time.

Just kill me now. >_<

me
scribbled at
6:45 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

1:20 PM
Have I mentioned that I hate ntu's SU option system? *grrr*

Really regret S/U-ing my jap module!!!

I feel as though I can even manage an A- at the end..damn siann. My jap still isn't exactly fantastic, neither am I very proficient in it, but waaaay better than many weeks back, during the S/U option period.

I am super freaking irritated!!

If I really can manage an A or better, or what the heck, even a B, I don't have to place all my hopes on gms.

Which is pretty much a goner.

Tell me, should I be annoyed, or should I be annoyed.

I bet the system will change once I graduate. This always happens. Dammit.

On a sidenote, at least I'm not going into the exam hall later totally clueless. Granted, I probably won't do fantastically well, but I'm sure at the end of the day I can manage a B+ or better..

*stop thinking stop thinking stop thinking*

Saturated already and I don' wanna studyyyy. I can never study on the day of the paper itself. And my paper's at 5pm. Arghhhh.

After today, it'll be gms all the way.

Have I mentioned how I'd much rather study jap?

Sighh.

me
scribbled at
1:20 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

.memories.
|tjband|
[syf 2003]
[prelude XXIII]
[prelude XXIV]
[trumpet section 2003]
[band thailand trip]
[trumpet section outing]
[wasbe 2003]
|2903|
[prom 2004!]
[class outing to beach]
[2903 album]
[sentosa]
|iras|
[concen TCOs]
|ij clique|
[bbq at bern's house]