Saturday, November 17, 2007
11:35 PM
Rollercoaster of emotions.

Been spending the past week holed up in hall and going through modern day tortures called exams. Really super cui, I think I'll end up retaking 311 next sem. Strangely, that thought doesn't really bother me anymore. I think I'm too tired to be upset over the thought of dabao-ing the module.

Getting used to hall life once again; in fact, I think it's even more fun than my last 2 years in hall. No wonder pple enjoy hall stay so much more when they have friends in the same hall..all along it was just me and my roomie.

Back home and I feel conflicted by many things. Part of me wants to continue the freedom I get from staying away from home; yet another part of me thinks I should be home.

But I feel so..helpless. Like there's nothing I can do to make things better, except to ask some random question now and then out of concern. I don't know how I can help to alleviate the pain and misery. My heart breaks seeing just how much weight he's lost. And the thought of it going to deteriorate...

"the line between hope and reality is so heartbreakingly unclear.."

All along, I've held on to hope and optimism, believing that a miracle will happen somehow. Or that positivity will lead us through the darkness. But now..faced with so much conflicting comments and opinions and..what appears to be lost hope. This is the reality that's forcing me to stare it in the face. The truth I don't want to face up to, don't have the courage to tackle.

I'm really not as strong as I appear to be at times. It's all just a facade..

I really hope what I heard will not come true. That the grimmest prediction will remain the way it is: nothing but plain words with no reality to back them up.

There are so many things we have yet to do together.
So many pictures untaken.
So many promises unfulfilled.
So much love for the future.
Just simply...so muchh.

I don't want to face the end sooner than I can help it. But what can I do mans. I don't know what to do at home. I really don't.

I really hope that the remaining optimism can last us a long, long time to come.

Cherish those dearest to you...don't ever wait till it's too late..

me
scribbled at
11:35 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

.memories.
|tjband|
[syf 2003]
[prelude XXIII]
[prelude XXIV]
[trumpet section 2003]
[band thailand trip]
[trumpet section outing]
[wasbe 2003]
|2903|
[prom 2004!]
[class outing to beach]
[2903 album]
[sentosa]
|iras|
[concen TCOs]
|ij clique|
[bbq at bern's house]