.shut me out from this world.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

4:13 PM

I think my life is a contradiction in itself.

Some things make me feel so upset at times, then there are things I wish didn't happen, and situations which I don't know how to handle.

Yet at the same time, in certain aspects, life has never been better.

Take last night for example. I was so pissed and angry over an issue that hurt me deeply, I called my number one to whine and ended up crying till I felt better. Talking to him made me feel so much happier that when I finally hung up the phone, I wondered why did I get so agitated in the first place. Haha.

But really. While there may be some problems which loom right ahead and seem impossible to overcome, at the same time, it's through these obstacles that I've found back the true meaning of friendship, and also learnt to cherish the people close to me.

I guess life is really fair in some ways, if we want it to be. You give some, you take some. We just need to find that balance.

Next week is filled with presentations and whatnot, totally disgusting. Have I mentioned that I hate corporate governance? Don't know why am I stuck with studying something like this. Arghh!

But this week's gonna be fun! Plenty of programmes lined up, save for work on sunday. And sai, I completely forgot that my saturday night programme clashes with agm. I can't go for agm!! Adeline will kill me. But I have no choice. Ah wells. Choices and choices. Bahh.

Tomorrow is going to be fun too! Hope it'll turn out successful. Whee. And on sat I'm finally going to meet up with qh for lunch! Near his workplace haha. Didn't know he'd be in sch today, so surprised when he called me just now to ask if I was in school. Nvm, today cannot but sat can! Yays.

And I'm finally going to meet up with cheryl dearest soon!! It's been...let's see...almost 4 years since we last sat down to talk or eat or whatever! Omgosh..damn long!! Not counting those times we bumped into each other la. Can't believe we lost contact for such a long period of time. I'm such a lousy friend la. Saiiiii.

But wells..that's why I say some aspects of my life have never been better! The getting together with friends, closer friendships forged with those I never bothered much about previously..it's true that a little effort can go a long way. Thank god I have all these pple and things to keep me going, to keep the sunshine in my skies..cos' I'm really gonna need them!

Thanks to all my darlings..guys and girls alike haha. Love you all! *huggs

me
scribbled at
4:13 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Monday, October 15, 2007

12:49 AM

Been wanting to blog the past week or so, but each time I wanted to login at the blogger homepage, I'd suddenly feel like I have nothing to type. Bahh.

Many happenings the past 2 weeks, not sure if it's more than I can handle. From the mundane, routine stuffs to huge problems which require plenty of optimism and hope. Haiiiis.

To start with something really random, my lit tutor emailed me my test assignment grade earlier cos' my paper went missing. Supposed to get it over a week ago but I just couldn't find in in the designated cubicle! Wanted so badly to know my grade cos' I wanted to decide if I should S/U it..in the end, I S/U-ed it without knowing my grade..cos' I felt it'd be hard to score well with a whole cohort of lit students taking it as their core.

And damn sai, I got an A- for that test!!

Arghhh.

But nvm la, since I don't foresee myself going to put in lots of effort for that elective..I think I should have made the right decision.

I hope. >_<

Lots of datelines approaching..just met quite a few since recess week ended. Like the C&C presentation that's finally off our backs, and the BRAND'S proposal which I actually did want to do a decent job of. But in the end, hampered by circumstances, we just did up some cui proposal. Ah wells.

FYP's getting along fine, albeit a little slow and somewhat...slack. But 2 meetings at Genesis has garnered us quite abit of info, enough to come up with a short proposal draft. At least Mrs Chee didn't seem unhappy with it.

I feel like I'm writing a journal. Arghh. Hate the feeling. But I don't know to get really personal on my blog anot. Seems like the hugest problems weighing me down are the really personal ones which few pple know about. And of the few..I guess I'm most thankful to bern..

Your help has been nothing short of amazing my dear girl..my family and I are super, super touched that you're doing so much for us. I think you're more informed than I am la. Haha. And your aunty too...you're all helping really alot. It makes me feel soooo much better just knowing that I have friends like you by my side, always asking after not just me, but my family as a whole..encouraging us not to lose hope, to carry on fighting and trying whatever will work..I know I don't say much to express how I really feel, cos' I'm always hampered by myself. But I just want you to know that everything you've done for us, no amount of thanks will ever do. I don't know what made me so lucky to find a friend like you. And how true it is, your true friends are the ones who surface whenever you face a crisis..thanks my dear. Love you lots. Huggs.

I understand more and more that a cure is next to impossible..but I still hope and pray for a miracle that may come our way. Giving up mainstream treatment options is really a risk in itself..but just the thought of all the torture and suffering which accompanies it...I don't find it so hard to reject after all. As compared to half a year ago..I think I'm taking things alot better. Not just me; all of us. I see now that it's useless getting upset, crying every single day, and asking why why why...it's more important now to do whatever we can to control it, to live each day to the fullest, to never have any regrets. By saying this, I don't mean I'm giving up hope.

I'm just starting to look at life in a different way.
A way where there is more to cherish, less to complain.
More to love, less to hate.
More to enjoy, less to suffer.
More joy, less sadness.
More laughter, less tears.

The importance of health is always so overlooked by pple these days..but when the impact hits you, whether directly or indirectly, you'll start to yearn for the past when you were in tip-top condition, when you had nothing to worry about your health.

So please, take care of yourselves. Because if you don't, you won't be the only one to suffer when something does happen. Your loved ones suffer along with you. Your children may inherit the less-than-perfect genes. It's not something concerning just yourself; it concerns everyone around you.

I need to start taking better care of myself. Not only because I face high risk of the same thing happening to me. But also because I need myself to take care of my family.

It never rains but pours; but at the same time, the darker the night, the nearer the dawn.

me
scribbled at
12:49 AM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

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