Thursday, July 19, 2007
12:35 AM
Went on a crazy shopping spree with my dearest cousin lings yesterday!! Burnt the most enormous hole ever in my pocket, but I'm a happy girl!! =)

Maybe cos' I haven't transferred the money to her account yet. Oops. Hahaha.

Anyways! Thanks my dear coussie for the lunch! It was a fab recommendation! Pity we were too full to try the desserts..haha.

Bought my virgin M.A.C makeup! The salesgirl was pretty nice..I still can't believe the bomb spent in that shop alone. Such makeup are so very expensive! Unlike the typical l'oreal and maybelline kind from watsons all that..I still like some products from those brands though. Can't be buying everything from brands like mac! I'll go broke in no time.

Very tempted to get something from benefit cosmetics! There's an ongoing spree online..we went to their new counter at tangs yesterday and got a mini briefing on some of their products. Sounds pretty good! But really quite high-priced locally. It's cheaper online. But still not that cheap.

Finally gotten my gold havaianas slim!! After eyeing them for damn freaking long. The voucher was to have expired next week hahaha. Really glad that the remaining value didn't go to waste, cos' ling jiejie got a pair too! Yays. =)

All in all, yesterday was one of the best shopping trips I've had in ages! Maybe cos' I haven't physically gone shopping in...months. Goodness.

But I've shopped more than my fair share online! The amount I'm spending in scary. Doesn't seem like alot cos' I don't literally see my money being spent; rather, i-banking tends to make me forget that moolah is constantly flowing out of my account. Yikes.

I think it's the face ampoules that are taking up the bulk of my expenditure. Lately taken to caring alot more for my face and buying all kinds of products which I previously never bothered about. And beauty really comes at a price. Monetary wise, definitely not cheap! But I feel way more informed now and a wiser consumer. It's always good to protect your skin and complexion! Mine's already so bad, I just wanna do what I can to try and improve things slowly. Even if they do cost a fair bit.

I can't wait for all my parcels to arrive!! Have so many on the way. The little small buys and the bigger ones toooo..I open my letterbox with anticipation every single day! Shopping is indeed a fantastic form of retail therapy!! But so very harmful for the wallet. Eeeps.

Next week is going to be a busy, busy week! Asked my dear ij clique if they wanna have a chalet gathering on tue night..so far I think most of them can make it for dinner at the very least! Pity huizhen won't be able to make it..was still toying with the idea of surprising her with a mini bday celebration. Hope the rest can stay over and we'll make it a fun gathering!

Haven't met up with them in ages..while I'm sure they still regularly meet up as much as time allows. We've all been busy with our own things though..what with attachment and all. Hoping to let the chalet be a good time to unwind and relax with great company. =) Please confirm soon my dears! Looking forward to positive replies! =)

Wed night reserved for band prac again..just as well that dearie's going to use the chalet that night for gathering with his friends. Then thu will be the ssc chalet cum bbq! Ordered the food already..just yet to make payment. Hope it'll be a success!! My first gathering with the workplace people. =)

Daddy's spirits are improving day by day! Went to shop for groceries and stuffs today; it's just like the old times! I've missed those days muchhhh..and he suggested having a family chalet in september! Including ah ee and the rest..happy happy! But this means I'll have to trouble serena again..hope she doesn't mind! I'm just glad that things at home are so much brighter and optimistic and cheerful lately. =)

Going to take up shan's suggestion and apply for the bursary! If I can get 3k, that will really lighten financial load alot during the next year at school. All the textbooks to buy, the transport fees, maybe hall accommodation if I can get a room...and blah. All expenses la. Preferably can more than cover my necessary expenses, maybe even some of my sister's. Then she won't have to rely on daddy and mummy, and I can save whatever else for paying off debts in future. =) Pity I didn't know about it earlier..or maybe I could have applied and qualified for it the last 2 years. But ah well, I need the money now more than ever! Hope the application will be successful. =)

Really should stop spending on my online shopping while I keep saying I need money for necessary expenses. But now that I've been working functions, and will continue to do so for a few weeks at least..I can't help but spend some. At least I'm spending my own money..and saving some leftover for rainy days. Shopping is what keeps me sane mans. And is what has kept me sane the past few months. Retail therapy really rocks. =)

Okay this has been an uber long post! But I'm in a good mood today, so I don't care. Haha. I read happy can liao!

Me loves you all!! Whee!! =)

me
scribbled at
12:35 AM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Monday, July 16, 2007
7:31 PM
Am waiting for daddy dearest to come and pick me up from hall! Okay, not just me. Mostly it's the mountain of stuffs I have to move back home. Hahaha.

Going to say byebye to my room in another half an hour! Gonna miss it mans. I love this hall. Haha.

I don't think one trip can settle everything..I've really accummulated a freaky amount of things over 2 years spent in hall. Especially the last one year in hall 16, for some unknown reason. I remember when I moved from hall 15 to 16 last year, one trip was all it took! Even if zb's car is bigger than daddy's car, it's not that much bigger. But I'm very sure later will be a nightmare hahaha. And I'll probably end up leaving some boxes/bags in hall to bring home another day.

I need to buy a new house just to store everything!! >_<

Total count for now is 1 huge box, 3 small boxes, 5 bags of varying sizes, and a few more paper bags containing miscellaneous items.

So muuuccchhhhh!!

Daddy is going to hyperventilate when he sees the mini mountain sitting in my room. Oops.

Can't do anymore closing at work! Since I don't have hall anymore. No excuses to stay out late either. Haha. But it's okay la, I don't go out much anyways.

Really quite no life. Mostly my fault, cos' it's by my choice. I don't bother meeting up with friends or organising activities..don't bother going for activities I'm invited to as well. It's no wonder that the first day of foc has come and gone, and I didn't go down at all. Neither was I told, actually. While there's a pang somewhere, some kind of wistfulness and disappointment, I know that even if I was asked to turn up, I probably wouldn't have. I'm not close to them in the first place anyways..but still, foc was the very first part of uni life which I was exposed to..it brings back many happy memories even now. I'm just content that I got the chance to experience not 1, but 2 focs. And though the friendships forged aren't strong, and don't seem like they will last past uni, it's good enough that such friends were once a part of my life. =)

Maybe I should be more proactive and ask friends out, instead of waiting to be asked, or turning down invites right and left. Now that daddy's well on the road to recovery, and mummy's finally found a job, things are more settled at home..at long last. Been waiting for this day for a long time..the return to normalcy, as normal as it can get. But I feel that along the way, with all the bumps and humps and obstacles, I've lost a huge chunk of my life.

I'm not as happy-go-lucky as I once was..not as cheerful as before..a smile less ready to appear on my face, disinterest more apparent than enthusiasm. I just feel like I want a quiet life, yet at the same time, I long for the past memories with people who mattered alot to me. Deep down, they still matter to me, their friendship still important to me, but somehow, I can't bring myself to re-establish the contact, the bond. Or maybe it's not that I can't; rather, I don't want.

I want the companionship, but I don't want the awkwardness at having been out of their lives for so long.
I want the laughter, but not the laughter that ensues from experiences I was not a part of.
I want the happiness, but not intruding on their happiness which they've created together without me.

In short, I just don't feel that I belong in any group anymore. I function better in smaller groups lately, the smaller the better. Less stress to feel the need to belong, less pressure to find out what I've been missing out on without seeming too desperate for company.

What a sad picture I've just painted. Yikes.

The only place where I feel any sense of normalcy like in the past, is with pple like my cousin, and kc. And also, with the ssc people at work. Maybe it's because at work, we don't know each other very well to the extent that we always hang out together. So there isn't the need to constantly update on one another's lives. There's no pressure, just relaxation when bitching and gossiping at work, teasing and being teased. It reminds me of my year 1 days in ntusb. Haha.

Only 3 more weeks before the start of the final year at school..time passes so fast! I only have 1 more year left to make good whatever goals I've set for myself for uni, to make up whatever regrets I've had with regards to friendships and situations, to enjoy the freedom which I'll lose once I graduate and start work. Cos' that's when all the heavy responsibilities will start piling non-stop, when routine will become a constant fixture, when stress will replace freedom.

Maybe I should use the next 3 weeks to really think over what it is that I want and I need, what it is that I have to do. The people I've disappointed in more ways than one, regardless whether they think so or not. Maybe to them, I'm just another of those hi-bye friends who's here one moment, and gone the next. I'm just another face in the crowd after all.

But to me, every single friend is important and a crucial part of my life. Experiences with them, no matter how big or small, have all played a part in forming my past and present. I don't want to just leave without a word. I've been hearing too much of the same things from different groups of friends, saying that I've distanced from them, I haven't joined in outings and activities for a long time now. To the extent that they don't call me along anymore. It's my own fault; no one else's. I'll just have to see what I can do then..what I want to do, what I need to do.

My sincerest apologies to friends whom I've disappointed time and again..to cliques and groups of friends I've drifted from the past years or so..I don't like the current me, but I haven't been trying hard enough to change I guess. Either I try harder, or I lose all that's dear to me.

What a scary thought. And this has been such a solemn entry! One thought leads to another.

Anyways!! Gonna meet my dearest cousin sometime this week for some quality time spent out tgther! Finally she has leave from work. Yays. And I can't wait for kc's attachment to end!! You owe me a date next week! Make time for me before you fly okay!! Or I'll fall out with you. Hahaha. Take care la buddy. You need plenty of R&R plus TLC!! And thanks for being there for me always. Clouds and storms seem to ease everytime I talk to you. I just hope I'm doing enough for you too. =)

Countdown to moving out of hall! I probably won't miss it much in another few days. Hahaha. Wonder what hall will I be eventually allocated. Whee.

Take care my dear friends! Enjoy what's left of the holidays and have fun!!

me
scribbled at
7:31 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

.memories.
|tjband|
[syf 2003]
[prelude XXIII]
[prelude XXIV]
[trumpet section 2003]
[band thailand trip]
[trumpet section outing]
[wasbe 2003]
|2903|
[prom 2004!]
[class outing to beach]
[2903 album]
[sentosa]
|iras|
[concen TCOs]
|ij clique|
[bbq at bern's house]