Friday, June 08, 2007
11:52 PM
Not in the mood to blog the usual essay-like post, so I shall update via the seldom-used method of summarising in point form. Haha.

- Results out today. Sucks. Got a pretty big shock at one of the grades. Not a pretty sight, and definitely not a good way to start the afternoon. Don't ask.

- The radiation machine broke down yet again. Practically on a daily basis this entire week. Annoying!! And so we made a trip down to NUH for nothing, then had to go TTSH instead. At least cab fare there was reimbursed.

- Daddy has lost so much weight that his clothes are basically hanging off his skinny frame. Heartache sia. His thighs are like less than twice the size of my arms. And I'm not fat, that's for sure. Sighh.

- Check up that day wasn't too bad! Though the blood test hurt more than blood donation. 3 tubes of blood! So many..the scope made me tear though. Damn freaking uncomfortable and..just simply urgh. At least dr. loh didn't find anything wrong..though he also didn't deduce the problem..haha.

- Someone's IA has finally ended today! After a torturous 6 months. Happy ktv-ing with your dear friends tmr night.

- Speaking of which, I miss ktv. And mahjong. And all things I enjoyed doing before..well. Before my life turned haywire. Turning 21 wasn't so fun after all.

- My life passes me by. I don't know what I'm doing. And I don't go out anymore. I haven't seen any friend for..weeks. As in, going out and just spending time with friends. I feel quite void, to be honest. I don't think my absence is missed either. Ah wells. Friends come and go.

- Can't go out shopping physically, so I shop online. Retail therapy is still the best form of therapy. It ties with laughter as the best medicine. And I don't need to find a companion to go online shopping with. Suits my current lifestyle.

- Quite pissed at a spree organiser. As are many others. Don't know why I paid so much for something that looks like double-sided tape. And doesn't even work as well. Grrr.

- Very into jellies now!! Though I've yet to get my first pair. Bought 3 already!! Hope it's not just an impulse thing, and that I actually wear them. Haha.

- I have nothing else to blog about. My life is boring with a capital B. There's nothing to update, except that I'm starting to get very sick of hospitals. I spend more time there than I spend in hall. And hall's supposed to be my 2nd home.

- Ohh yes, I need to move out of hall soon. Gotta start packing already. Don't know where's everything going to fit. Sighh. Stupid HAS.

That's all for now. I think I might as well shut down my blog soon. Starting to sound the same over and over.

Nights world.

me
scribbled at
11:52 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Tuesday, June 05, 2007
3:20 PM
I seem to have so many things to do. But I'm like doing nothing much everyday. Hmm.

Planning to finally go and book basic theory test next week..and I need to start looking for potential PA companies for my attachment in dec. Don't know what kind of company I want to work in lehh. Not say I want then can get. But it definitely beats having no choice, leaving everything to the school to decide for me.

It's June already!! I must hurry up. Haha.

Can't wait for daddy's treatment to end! Should be ending the week after next..it's so ouch to see all the side effects he's suffering from..thank goodness they're mostly reversible. Ah wells. Pity it won't end by father's day..was hoping we could use that day as a celebration of his end of treatment.

Anyways, went to speak to this lady called serene that day..she's on the cancer research study team that daddy is part of. I figured that since the checkup and all are available FOC to me and daddy's siblings, I might as well make use of it..rather than have to pay another few hundred bucks to do an ENT clearance elsewhere.

Told her about my situation and what dr. lee suggested, and she set up an appointment for me..tmr!! Scariness la.

The thought of the scope and the bloodtest and all really sucks. I can't decide which is worse. Having a tube-like thingy stuck into you to check for abnormalities, or having needles stuck into you to draw blood for testing. I hate needles; always had a fear of them. But recalling how daddy's scope went the last time I went with him..is even scarier I think. I remember seeing the tumour up close and personal..immediately on the spot somemore. At least bloodtest results aren't immediate..and you don't literally see anything that could be potentially devastating..

Okay la, in short, I'm trying to run away from reality. I just don't want to be there to see anything wrong. If there's anything wrong. And to make things worse, be there by myself. Arghh.

Mummy offered to go with me..but I declined cos' the appointment's at 2pm, and daddy's RT is at 5pm. She can't possibly come along with me and leave daddy alone at home, so that means he's gotta go along too. And if that's the case, he's gonna have to spend 3hours in a hospital full of super cold aircon and germs in the air. Given his lowered immunity, that is a very bad idea indeed. So, to make things simple, I said don't need. I'll go by myself, and meet them at 5pm..

Daddy asked if the boyfriend could go with me..but he's still having his attachment. Final few days somemore..at any rate, even if he was free, he won't go with me la. So maybe it's a good thing he isn't free after all. Saves him from finding an excuse, and saves me from being disappointed.

It isn't much use simply telling me everything will be fine, not to worry. That's not what I want to hear. I also know how to tell these to myself. What I need is some form of..I don't know. I just need to know that you'll be there for me. It would have helped to see you offer some kind of assurance when I told you I hate needles, but I got no reply to that. It would have helped to just get some encouragement, sincere consolation, instead of telling me to go and sleep early. But ah wells. It's your pattern. I should have expected it instead of feeling..sad.

Somehow I doubt it's anything serious. I really hope it isn't. But I hate checkups of any sort. And tmr's involves all the instruments that I fear. Bahh.

Ah wells. See how la. Serene is a nice enough lady, I'm sure she'll try to put me at ease. Hope I don't oversleep tmr.

me
scribbled at
3:20 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

.memories.
|tjband|
[syf 2003]
[prelude XXIII]
[prelude XXIV]
[trumpet section 2003]
[band thailand trip]
[trumpet section outing]
[wasbe 2003]
|2903|
[prom 2004!]
[class outing to beach]
[2903 album]
[sentosa]
|iras|
[concen TCOs]
|ij clique|
[bbq at bern's house]