Thursday, March 09, 2006
11:49 PM
The guys downstairs are a bunch of idiotic jerks, honestly.

What's with all that disgusting hyena laughter, the ooohs and ahhhs and god knows what other stuff they ramble on about as if afraid that the whole block can't hear them. I'm all prepared to throw about a hundred thousand sharp knives at them. Grrr.

I'm in an angsty mood now and I don't deny it. Don't ask me why; I don't know either. Can't be pms-ing again so soon but it sure feels like it. Definitely not my day. Door slams which irk me to the max and just about the thinnest of the last of patience stopped me from storming out and giving them a piece of my mind. I tell myself it's the door's fault; they didn't mean to slam it on purpose. Pui.

Stupid guys. Assholes. What's with all the what the fucks and what the hells man. New vocabulary? For guys who look like nerds and geeks, they sure don't spend their days studying. Disturbing the peace of others till 2, 3am every other night is tantamount to total unforgiveness now. I'm pissed off and I dun feel like relenting. How do you expect me to concentrate on bizlaw when they are making a hell of a ruckus and killing my mood completely? I already started off with grey skies; dun make them turn black and stormy.

I am so not myself. My eyes wanna close but I refuse to let them. My mind wants to concentrate but I'm allowing it to wander. My heart is telling me something but I'm not paying attention. I wanna slap myself awake but I feel submerged in deep waters that I can't get out of. Hydrophobia. The all too familiar feeling of sinking. Did I not leave that behind me? Why is it back?

I wanna go running but there's no one to run with me. I need to let off steam. Give me my runner's high. Give it to me now. Anger never does me any good, and i hate the feeling of angst. The feeling of not knowing what's wrong with me when obviously nothing feels right. It's just so wrong.

Ignore me, ignore my post. This is not me. Geri shouldn't behave like this and ramble incessantly and senselessly. I'll get myself back tmr. Hopefully. My everything-is-alright-and-nothing-is-wrong self. Sometimes it's not good to let my feelings show too much. When I'm happy, that's okay. But if I'm not...I shouldn't darken all the skies around me too. Facade facade. Good word to use.

Start by changing my nick. Pls colour my grey skies orange...my happy colour is fading. No more.

Done.

me
scribbled at
11:49 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

2:30 PM

the Questioner Test finished!

you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX. "I am affectionate and skeptical" Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative. How to Get Along with Me Be direct and clear. Listen to me carefully. Don't judge me for my anxiety. Work things through with me. Reassure me that everything is OK between us. Laugh and make jokes with me. Gently push me toward new experiences. Try not to overreact to my overreacting. What I Like About Being a Six being committed and faithful to family and friends being responsible and hardworking being compassionate toward others having intellect and wit being a nonconformist confronting danger bravely being direct and assertive What's Hard About Being a Six the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations Sixes as Children Often are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent Sixes as Parents are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence worry more than most that their children will get hurt sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries Hmm...it really has some truth in it. Not all, but accurate enough to catch my attention. Haha.

me
scribbled at
2:30 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Wednesday, March 08, 2006
4:11 AM
Had a study session in the bandroom just now..not too bad, accomplished more today than I ever will any other day. Assuming, of course, that my laptop is nearby. For a moment, I wondered if I should have brought my lappie along to study. Then I realised that would be so dumb; no difference from attempting to study in hall. So thank goodness I left my dear lappie sitting happily in hall instead of distracting me from my mountain of bizlaw, econs and ob.

Really late now, and I feel a headache coming up. I just knew it wouldn't be so nice as to leave me alone this week. But not bad, it's only starting to appear towards the end of the week. Better than plaguing me every single day. How did I survive last week man. Gosh.

Hungry hungry! Think the cup noodles up at nyh just now only served to make me hungrier. Haha. Geri is turning into a pig. *oink. Okay that is so not good. Time to start running more and eating less junk. My new resolution. Wonder if I will ever keep to it. Haha. Well, at least I ran ytd. But it was a disaster! Couldn't even complete the usual 6km route, albeit in a different direction. Plus, it was the route with less slopes and plenty of flat ground. I am like how unfit. Urgh.

As I'm typing, lotsa pple are probably watching soccer..arsenal vs real madrid. Not the club I support. Liverpool rocks! Hahaha. Still can't understand how they drew with charlton though. Pui.

It's now 9th march, and I hafta decide on what elective I wanna take for special sem soon. How now brown cow...the electives offered for sem 1 are so not the ones I want la. No jap either..though that would be really xiong. Seeing the french class schedule is enough to make me cringe. 12hrs of lessons a week during holidays is not my idea of fun and excitement, seriously. Cha dao seems the most likely...but I heard it's a thin line btwn pass and fail. And the exam papers sort of put me off. Yucksy. I'm quite tempted to take the literature genre elective..but I know that no one will wanna take with me. Haha. But since sherlyn might not be taking intersem, it's still gonna be me, myself and I..and to be honest, I do miss lit..lots of times I find myself wondering how life would be like now had I chosen to major in english lit. The more I attend my business modules, the more I wonder what specialisation I will take next year, the more I think of the econs/bizlaw/ob/IT terms that terrorise me constantly..I feel that I'm in the wrong faculty taking the wrong modules and doing the wrong tutorials which I struggle to understand. Sighness. But it's too late for regrets, isn't it. Since I chose this path, the only way out is to walk through it and pray and hope that I'll come out fine.

Trying to psycho myself that I love my major. Businesswoman I am sooo gonna be. *wonders really.

Saw a shooting star just now! So pretty..my first time seeing one. Haha. Pity jy turned the other way so he missed it. It was really fast, gone in a split second. But so beautiful, so bright, so...amazing. Absolutely gorgeous. If only I can sit atop a hill and lie back on the mossy grass, looking up at the velvety dark sky filled with millions of sparkling stars and seeing the occasional shooting star streak across the night sky...*wishing

I wonder what it is that's making you feel this way..I wanna ask yet I'm afraid to know the answer. Is it what I think it is? Deep down, a part of me hopes that I'm wrong. Yet, instinct tells me that what I fear is probably the truth. If it really is..whatever your decision, I just hope that you'll be happy. Cos' that's what I'd want for you. To be happy.

me
scribbled at
4:11 AM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

.memories.
|tjband|
[syf 2003]
[prelude XXIII]
[prelude XXIV]
[trumpet section 2003]
[band thailand trip]
[trumpet section outing]
[wasbe 2003]
|2903|
[prom 2004!]
[class outing to beach]
[2903 album]
[sentosa]
|iras|
[concen TCOs]
|ij clique|
[bbq at bern's house]