Monday, February 14, 2005
11:56 PM
15 mins left before the day ends. All I hafta say is, bad start to the day, but a wonderful ending. =]

Everything's cleared up le, and I'm happy again. Happy until I dun even feel like scolding a certain sumone liao. Pui.

Ohh! almost reaching midnight le! I gotta say sth! Was in too lousy a mood to say this earlier.

Happy Vday cum Friendship Day!!!

Esp to my darling friends. IJ peeps. 2903 clique. After this incident, I'm gonna treasure all of you so much more. Thanks for giving us the chance to clear up matters. Let all the anger and tears fade into the past k? Hope this can only strengthen the bond between us. Friends forever! I love all of you! -hugs n kisses-

me
scribbled at
11:56 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

10:28 PM
I'm experiencing a mix of emotions now.

First thing I did when I came online was to view everyone's blogs. Everyone referring to our clique. The 6 of us. From Xtina, to Jeannie, to Joan...the more I read, the heavier my heart felt. And it crashed when I came to Joan's blog. I haven't cried in a long time.

I really thought it was all over. Joan sounded so freaking mad. Punctuating almost every sentence with the 'f' word. My mind is a blur.

Ohh yes. My day started with Mel's call at 6plus in the morning. Then I went to work. Monotonous until lunch, when Xtina finally replied my msg. I was shocked when she said sorry abt that day. You dun hafta apologise. It's not ur fault dear. The rest of the day, I put the incident at the back of my mind. After work, when Mel called me, the stuff she told me was the best I heard the whole day. Thought maybe it would be alright somehow. Then I went home and read the various blogs. And shattered all over again.

Now, feeling slightly happier. PS finally replied me. We're talking some on msn..she's still angry. So's Xtina. Sorry dears, really sorry. Aside from sorry, I dunno what else to say le. I dunno who's fault it is exactly, but I think a few of us have someone in mind. Not wanting to point fingers, but it's not right for Joan to take the blame when it's not even her fault. Sorry too, Joan. I know you feel extremely bad. Alternating between feeling bad, panicking and becoming angry. Sorry.

I was so so so scared when Joan started to get angry. I thought the whole friendship was coming to an end. Internal disputes are the fastest way to ruin a friendship. Just have 2 friends warring against each other, and you'll get a blown-up situation. Why am I even talking about this.

So. What's going to happen next? I dunno. Really at a loss still. All I want now is for PS and Xtina to forget their anger, and all of us be able to talk again. Like in the past. Like the group of friends we've been the past 2 years. I feel so tired. Dun even know what I've been typing exactly.

Sorry.

me
scribbled at
10:28 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

12:16 AM
How did things turn out liddat??

What was supposed to be a class gathering became a situation where no one knows who's at fault. I myself dun even know what was going on. All I did was to reply when I was free, when I wasn't.

Xtina and PS, I'm really sorry. We're really sorry. Me and Joan honestly have no idea what went wrong. I guess it all boils down to miscommunication. Joan misunderstanding Xtina's "cannot" as a definite "no", while Mel saying that PS said she couldn't make it. I'm confused myself. Pls dun think we left the two of you out on purpose. I've never sworn before in my life, but I'm doing it now. I swear to God (I'm sorry to petition God) that we did not do that, did not have the intention of leaving you out of the gathering. How could we?? We're one class, we're a clique, we're friends who're supposed to stick by one another through thick and thin. There's absolutely no way we'd do such a thing. It's honestly a misunderstanding. Pls dun doubt the friendship all of us share, none of us would be so mean as to exclude another. Serious!

In fact, while we said it was a class gathering, I suspect not even half the class knew about it. And I have no idea why!! I dun even know who started it. Organised the whole thing. Crystal? Mr Quek himself? It wasn't exceptionally fun to have just 5 of us there too. We missed your comapny, really. We were lamenting on why it wasn't a group gathering; little did we guess that it would blow into sth so serious.

I still dun really know who's at fault. But I know we're really, really sorry that this happened. No one wanted it to, least of all us. Really sorry, PS and Xtina, pls pls pls try to be less angry soon, then hopefully we can all have a chance to sit down and talk it over. Really hope we can all meet up soon and have a good talk, hope the matter will clear up asap...I miss all of you, I'm sure we all do miss one another after so long...things dun hafta end up in a bad way. I dun want it to. I refuse to let it. So pls, try to get over your anger k? We're a bunch of good friends who will always be there for each other; dun ever think otherwise. Tkkaire, hope to see you all soon. -hugs-

me
scribbled at
12:16 AM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Sunday, February 13, 2005
6:49 PM
Not much to update, just some. Quite a sian day today, went for double tuition, lunch, then back home to slack the day away before I gotta drag myself outta bed early early to work tml. What a long sentence I just typed. Phew.

Ohh yes. Went Mr Quek's house to bai nian yesterday. His JC classmates were there when we went, and they were so amused when they heard us call him Mr Quek. Heh. And Mr Quek's gf was there too! She's very sweet-looking! I think they look really compatible together. Heh. Hurry get married k! Then every year after that, the lot of us can go to his house and collect ang baos for cny. Lol. Due to a misunderstanding, Xtina ended up not going. Sorry gal! We didn't expect it to be liddat...nvm, we all go again another time k! -hugs-

Sth quite unexpected happened there. Mel mentioned a certain someone's name, and I nearly froze in shock. But wells, at least I didn't feel my heart shatter. Just a numb feeling and my mind blanked. Hahas. I guess that's a good reaction? Heh. Mind-blanking I can deal with. Just dun wanna feel heartbreak all over again. Looks like I'm well on my way to discarding some memories and emotions better left unvisited. =]

Okays, I feel really sian diao. Sorry if my post has made you pple sian too. Oops. >_<>_< Hope everyone's doing okay...PS, you sound kind of tired and sad in your last post..whatever it is, cheer up okays? Remember, no matter what happens, we'll always be here for you. Love ya dearie. -hugs- I feel so lethargic. Bleah. Dun wanna blog anymore. Suddenly life feels so mundane and meaningless. Like there's nth to look forward to. And dun even begin to remind me abt collecting results. That's the last thing I want, really. I'll probably just get a heart-attack on that day. Urgh. Okays, I think I just gloomified the mood and atmosphere...which is bad. Ignore me pple, dun let my lack of enthusiasm towards life affect you all too. It's just so hard to stay happy always. To put a smile on my face and laugh like there's no tml..it's too hard lah. Guess I'm not as optimistic as I want to be. Still trying, though. Before I end off, just wanna put up a collage I created using pics of 2903 collected over our 2 years together. Miss everyone so much. .

me
scribbled at
6:49 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

.memories.
|tjband|
[syf 2003]
[prelude XXIII]
[prelude XXIV]
[trumpet section 2003]
[band thailand trip]
[trumpet section outing]
[wasbe 2003]
|2903|
[prom 2004!]
[class outing to beach]
[2903 album]
[sentosa]
|iras|
[concen TCOs]
|ij clique|
[bbq at bern's house]