.shut me out from this world.

Friday, December 31, 2004

1:23 PM

I shall make this a quick one! Meeting Jeannie in an hr's time...hahas. =]

Went out wif Ling jiejie last night...very fun! She brought me to pluck my non-existent eyevrows. Okay, so now they have a shape. But still pretty much non-existent. =( What to do, they dun like me, refuse to grow more hairs. So I gotta live with it. At least I should be thankful that they are somewhat seeable (is there such a word? =p). So dun exactly hafta draw them. Plus, I can't be bothered. Hahas.

Ohh! Ah Ee got me an MP3 player for my bdae...a very early pressie. Hahas. Thanks so much! =] Although I'm having a love-hate relationship with it now. I have zero idea how to operate it. My comp sux lah k. Bleah. So irritating! I shall meddle with it again after I get home. Sigh.

I saw a damn nice bag ytd!!! A handbag kind. Heh. From ripcurl...and it's on sale! 39 bucks. It sounds cheap and ex to me at the same time. Cheap cos' it would be much more expensive ordinarily, but ex cos' I'm FLAT BROKE now. Sigh. I really want that bag. Should I just buy it and eat air the next few weeks? Very big sacrifice can.

Let me go and think abt it. =

me
scribbled at
1:23 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Thursday, December 30, 2004

3:31 PM

I had a blast last night! Went to Mel's house for a class gethering...hahas. Finally one were at least half the class turned up. Lol.

Mel's house is so uluated though...me and Jeannie had to walk so very far just to get there. Hahas. Considering that we were lugging food along..for the bbq and potluck. Lol. So, like any other gathering, we barbecued (not really me. I was watching tv! =p), ate, and even played games. So hilarious can. The dressing up game where "I'm the fastest!". Oh man. I can't believe we did that last night. Never thought I'd catch an 18 yr old do that, much less all of us. But it was fun. =] Then there was the blanket game...that was even funnier. Wahaha. But of cos', I think the forfeit we all did is the best I've ever seen. We sang a birthday song for Jeannie! Cos' her bdae's today! Speaking of which...

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JEANNIE DARLING!!! -HUGS + MUACKS!- =]

Hahas. Hope you'll have fun out today! Watching movie and going out with Haoting. =]

Ohh yes. To continue abt last night's party. Heh. There isn't very much else, just that we had a gift exchange...and it was super funny seeing how Mel tried all means and ways to get the gift which Mr Quek brought. While we were all complaining. Lol! But in the end, she got it all the same. Hahas. I picked Xtina's pressie! And it's so cute lah. A grass-growing monster. Ooh. =p Chih got a similar one from Joel! Hey Chih, rmb we're gonna compete and see whose monster will grow the fastest? =p

Aniwaes, when we left, me and Xtina managed to hitch a ride from Mr Quek! But only until Tanah Merah MRT lah. Then he sent PS and Nick to Tampines I think. Heh. But at least we got a ride. =p And Mr Quek, if you're reading this, must tag at my board k!!! Make sure you find all our blogs! Lol. Ohh, we took pictures at Mel's house, but too bad, they aren't in my cam. So if you wanna see, must wait till I get from the rest. Or can go Mel's blog! I'm sure she's gonna post them. =]

Hmm...so fast 2004 coming to an end le...while I hated the A's, I think this year is one of the best years of my life. Or maybe even the best. =] I think some of you may be able to guess why...even if you can't, it doesn't matter. As long as I know it, that's enough. Hahas.

Okays! Gotta start getting ready...meeting Ling Jie Jie for a night out later! Wahaha. I get to go out again! I love to go out. Heh. Somemore it's wif her! =p Only prob is, I'm broke. Sigh. But nvm, window-shopping is free. =p

Happy counting down to 2005 pple! =]

me
scribbled at
3:31 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

12:04 PM

I read Lamu's blog and realised that she wrote an entry in reply to mine. Heh. And it's convinced me more than ever how lucky I am to have such friends. =] Dun worry Lamu, I'll never reject you! Or any of you, for that matter. =]

You're quite right to say that the thing abt our clique is how we never ever quarrel. Yet, there's this phrase which goes bu da bu xiang shi. Lol. I guess what makes us special as a group is how there's always this mutual understanding and everyone gives in to everyone else. And I have a feeling it'll continue this way for a long time to come. =] I think back then, I must have been itching for a quarrel. That's how it became liddat maybe? Heh.

Ohh yar Lamu! I miss Mag Low! Let's find one day and go back to IJ k...see all our teachers again! I even miss Jo Teo. Lol. And yeah, how could I ever forget Mirror? =p While Lit is fun to take, it's pretty stressing too. Taking A-level Lit makes Animal Farm look like chicken feed in comparison. Lol.

And what you said abt seeing the ideal in our clique? I see it too. And I'm holding on to your word ar...to keep it this way as long as we can. No, let's make it forever. Hahas. Issit a pact? -smiles-

me
scribbled at
12:04 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

2:20 PM

Just went to Bern's blog and saw her post dedicated to me. =]

Didn't exactly expect a reply..so fast somemore..but nevertheless I'm really glad that she did.

And yeah, I have so many things I wanna say and too much to tag, so maybe I'll learn from you and post it instead. But then again, sometimes I feel that in friendships, it's not so much of words, but actions instead, which speak volumes. So I shall keep things short and sweet here. -smiles-

Bern, thanks for being so understanding. Knowing that our friendship still stands after 8 over years and the recent 2 year break has really warmed my heart. I wun deny that I was afraid our friendship broke the day we left IJ. But after reading your entry, I'm glad that I did what I did. Or else we might never clear the air huh. And me and the clique might be headed for another year long break. -choy!- Heh.

And you're right to say that somehow IJ gals have this special connection with each other. I think it's really true. I've made many many friends in JC, outside of IJ, and while I love all my frens, never wanna lose any of them, it's the IJ friendships with you all that tug the most at my heart. Or maybe that's cos' I haven't seen you all for so long? But the fact still remains. Nth can ever replace the friendship we share. =]

So, yes, I hope we can meet up soon, and pray that perhaps it wun take us another gazillion years to re-enter each other's lives. =p There are just so many things I miss abt you all, now that I think about it.

I miss hanging out with you, Bern. Sharing stuff with you, whether serious or hilarious, being comforted by the fact that you're always there for me.

I miss teasing Lamu, making her the butt of jokes till her face turns tomato red. Miss the way she can be so blur at times, making me laugh so much.

I miss talking cock with Lishan, my 'twin', who always babbles at the speed of a bullet train. Miss how we used to get caught reading during lessons. And having books get confiscated. =]

I miss Eileen and her catcat behaviour. Miss alternating btwn wanting to laugh and cry whenever she goes all kitty in public. Miss talking to her, going to sch with her, going home with her.

I miss Huizhen and her dry humour. The way she'd crack us up unintentionally. I even miss her lousy photography skills (lol!), when the pics would usually come out blur.

I miss Siewping and her sweet, gentle ways. So ladylike! Miss hanging out with her. =]

I miss cute and lovable Mayhui. Always had an urge to pinch her cheeks. =p Miss listening to the many stories she has, simply miss being around her.

I guess, in short, I just miss all of you. -muacks-

me
scribbled at
2:20 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

1:12 AM

This is so totally hilarious. Mel's keyboard isn't working, yet she's on msn 'talking' to me and Xtina. Guess how the conversation goes?

strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
this is getting funnier n funnier
babybunch says:
funnier n funnier
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
xtina, im gonna type mel's sms
babybunch says:
hahas

and the reason why Mel (babybunch) can type is because...

strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
okay, i shall type a variety of words for mel to copy n paste
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
then she can save on sms

Yups. She's copying and pasting whatever we type to form her own answers. And when she has a long msg to tell us, she'll sms me. Lol. Isn't this an ingenious idea? But then...

strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
she sounds like a parrot
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
lol!

Then I just had to ask....

strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
shall we include vulgarities? =p
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
okok mel go on!
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
mel, paste yes or no
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
lol
babybunch says:
no

Mel is such a good girl. Wahaha. I was thinking of typing out a string of vulgarities for her to cut n paste. Lol! And of cos, there's the consequences we hafta consider, funny as it may be... =p

strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
i look like a goon
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
laughing to myself
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
yar!!
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
me too
babybunch says:
yar!!
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
my bro getting suspicious
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
lol

Then, it just has to get funnier still...thx to Xtina! Wahaha.

yay! hawick and bernice! says:
mel im pretty? yes
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
NO
babybunch says:
no
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
lol

And then, here comes another qns and ans session. Lol.

yay! hawick and bernice! says:
mel when are u havihng a new keyboard?? soon never dunno
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
wah
babybunch says:
? soon
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
multiple choice
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
lol
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
hahhaaha
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
no wonder i this few days din see u onloine
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
u shd cum more often
yay! hawick and bernice! says:
so wad did u do for yr anni? made out had sex nothing broke up
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
xtina!!!!
babybunch says:
brokenothingmadeupnosex
strawberry shortcake [geRi] says:
-rolls on floor laughing-

And so goes on our conversation. Lol.

Ohh, my dear frens, esp my IJ clique, if u read until here le and u're bored, pls pls pls dun exit yet! Read the post below okays? =]

me
scribbled at
1:12 AM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Monday, December 27, 2004

11:19 PM

Oh dear. It's so sad, the earthquake and tsunami which killed and injured so many pple. Hopefully no more destruction will follow, and everything will be alright soon. My heart really goes out to those affected pple...imagine having loved ones going through such agony. Okays, I dun even wanna think about it. I just hope that they will all be alright asap. That the injured will recover soon, the dead will rest in peace, and homes rebuilt...

I think this is gonna be a long entry. Plenty of thoughts been running through my mind these few days..maybe it's the xmas season or sth...

I'm really glad I went for the gathering at Bern's place. Seeing all of them again brings back past memories. I almost didn't go though...wasn't sure if it was a good idea initially. And, to be honest, I was kinda nervous. And seriously wondering if I would have anything to do there, to say to them...I mean, after not seeing them for over a year, I couldn't possibly expect everyone to still stay exactly the same and treat me as a part of the close-knit group right? Hence my hesitation. But the moment I walked into her house...all the hesitation just fell away. =]

Actually I really think I owe all of them. An explanation maybe? -shrugs- I just feel really bad for simply walking away when we left IJ. Didn't make much effort to meet up with them..while they were all in close contact even after going to different JCs. I guess the reason why I didn't try to get back into the group was cos..I just didn't feel like I belonged lah. It seemed so strained...I mean, that's how I felt. But I wanted to, really. Who would want to just part with her clique and go separate ways for no reason? I love them, I love my friends. They've been wonderful pple who have always stood by me...esp Bern. And I feel even more bad seeing how they welcomed me back so happily that day, as if I'd never really left the group. Of cos', things felt different lah. For one, I didn't understand alot of what they were saying. I mean, like, the people they know, I dun. And so on so forth. At some parts, I did feel abit awkward. I almost wished as if I'd stayed home. But straight after that, I'd regret thinking so. I can't possibly expect to return to the group like nth happened mah. Things just dun happen this way.

Actually, I dun really know what am I typing now. There's so much I want to say, but I'm not typing fast enough. And I dunno if I shd reveal exactly what I feel..yet on the other hand, I want to cos' I think my IJ clique does read my blog. And in some way, I guess whatever I'm saying in this entry is meant for them to see. I just don't know where to start, how to continue, and what exactly it is that I wanna say. Sigh.

First, I'm really sorry for not making the effort to keep in touch with you all. I wanted to, really wanted to, but sth held me back. Until now, I still can't put a name to that something. I guess...I wasn't sure how it would turn out. Even at the time we left IJ, I already felt sort of displaced from our group. It started from around Prelims that time I think. Lasted all the way..I guess none of you really know what happened, what caused it. I dun really know myself. But it has gotta have been me lah. My fault, cos' cannot be you all distanced yourselves from me mah..

So aniwaes, bad as it sounds, I was hoping for a fresh start in JC. I thought, since I dun feel like part of the group anymore, and I dunno how to go back to it, might as well start all over with new pple. Then, as time progressed, I realised how wrong I was. Some things just can't be replaced. Like friendship. How stupid of me to look for a fresh start. I'd given my part to our clique, I can't just take it back. And I don't want to. I really love you guys, really treasure the friendship we all share. At least, I know it now. JC has taught me much, and time has taught me more. I realised that I really dun wanna leave the group, or risk distancing myself even further than I already am. But on the other hand, I do know how ridiculous I may sound. Suddenly deciding that I want back the old times..I can understand if it wun work out the way I want it too, but at least I know now what is it that's been missing from my life the past two years. It's you pple, Bern, Eileen, Lamu, Huizhen, Lishan, Siewping, Mayhui, and the friendship we share.

I owe you pple an apology...sorry for doing what I did, just cutting myself off liddat. I dunno if you all felt it lah, or whether you all were affected by it, but I definitely was. And I didn't like it, wasn't a good experience. I know it's near impossible to just enter back into the group again, but I'm glad that I finally realised this. Learnt my mistake..I think JC has really matured me. Maybe it's a good thing to make mistakes sometimes. That's provided you learn from them. And given another chance not to make the same mistake again. Just dun be like me k. Took me two times to learn from the same mistake. But I'm happy to announce that I've finally learnt my lesson.

Friendships are meant to be cherished, not tested. =]

Which is what I did. The latter, I mean. I tested my friendships in the past. I think I was mad. Hahas. But I wun ever do it again, promise promise! =]

I should dedicate this to all my frens now huh. Sorry if I've ever hurt any of you, or tested the friendship we share. I really treasure our friendship, and I want it to last till the end of time. I dun ever wanna lose any of you, serious. So...dun give in to me all the time, I know there are some of you who do. Friends teach one another, learn together, grow together...I want to be liddat with all my friends. Be there for all of you, whether rain or shine. Cos' that's what I'd want my friends to do too. Whether to me, or to others. It's really true, do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

Has my entry been very long? Sorry to make you all read so far. Hahas. But I feel alot better after typing everything out. =]

I dunno how things will be like from here. I almost didn't wanna leave Bern's house that day, leave all of them, cos' I really have no idea when I'll be seeing you all again. I hope it'll be soon, still hoping. In the meantime, tkkaire, all of you. I love you guys! -muacks-

me
scribbled at
11:19 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
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