Wednesday, April 14, 2004
11:38 PM
Lalala..I'm online again! Supposed to do math tutorial..but remembered that 1st period tml will be some talk in da audi..so decided to slack and not do my work..what's new..*dotZ* As for Lit...I super no mood to do lor. I left da freaking PC intro I did in sch..my file in da pigeonhole mah..then Gothic I haf totally no idea how to even start...haiz..

Got back my confirmed results slip for da MCT today..my grades are waaay ATROCIOUS!!! I'm so screwed lor..still must sign and hand in..my percentile all, like, what percentile?? I might as well have a big fat zero in place of all my subs..I'm already at rock bottom aniwae..haiz..I know it yet I'm not doing anything to help myself. My revision plan has gone down da drain..I'm, like, two weeks behind..which is ALOT!!! I really dun quite see how I'm supposed to catch up again u noe. Why can't I just have more self-discipline??? >_<

GP debate today was bad beyond words. I knew it wouldn't go well, but didn't expect it to go so badly. A lack of time meant I had to rush through my written speech..so I didn't complete it. I thought I had it enough in my head to just carry on impromptu..so I just added a few words at da bottom of da paper to remind myself. And to think I was so nervous that I clean forgot abt all da points I wanted to argue!!! Omg..I'm such an idiot manz..my style was nothing short of failure and everything short of success..just couldn't make my points clear. Mrs Noordin was right. I couldn't even convince myself, let alone da rest of them. I was too soft oso. Like how is that possible huh..I can get really loud..but not in presentations and stuff..I just dun understand why da reverse happens whenever I'm in a classroom scenario. I think it's my nerves. *bLeaH* Whatever it is, it was really, really bad. There wasn't a single good thing to mention about the way I debated. It was all bad, negative, horrible, yada yada. It all sounds discouraging, but I'm just stating da facts. Ask anyone if u dun believe me. *shrugZ* I dunno wad to do liaoz lah. It's not all abt being da better speaker, or abt winning or wadeva crap. It's how I did so badly and paled so obviously in comparison which I can't get over. I know it's just a "small debate" (as you pple kept telling me) to some, but to me, it's a way of proving myself, proving that I did prepare for it. Or so I thought. Cos' da end result obviously shows that I didn't do tt. If I did, then it's really not enough. Which is what I feel too.

I dunno lah. Dunno what to feel anymore. Just know that I'm very disappointed with myself, with my lacklustre presentation. Maybe I'm taking this harder than pple might think I shd. But I beg to differ. Whatever way you pple view this thing doesn't really concern me. I mean, just cos' u pple think it's just some small, class debate thingy doesn't mean it's not impt at all. And just cos' you pple can still put up a good debate w/o preparing for it doesn't mean that I can, too. I've always needed to put in more effort than others to reap da same results..one of those they term 'slow learners' I guess. I'm not being resentful of u pple. That u all look upon it as such an effortless task. Maybe you can't tell but I do take it seriously. I really put in alot of effort in researching. The pile of notes is testament I guess. But I suppose ultimately it's da method of presenttaion which matters. Which is exactly what I failed in. *sigH*

I oso dunno why am I going on and on abt this. It's over. I'm disappointed, yes, but I'll get over it. I'm not gonna let sth like this ruin my mood totally. I guess I just need an outlet to express all my feelings and frustrations. But considering how this is my 1st 'major' debate(it is, after all, extremely small in scale), a failure this time round isn't gonna set me back. Maybe I'll join debate classes(like Ah Zor did) in future. I do enjoy debates and I dun wanna be a complete failure in sth I like. That would really be damn sad case lah. -_-

Hmm..I need to go slp liaoz..last night slept so late then no energy today..long day ahead tml..nitez everyone...*yawnZ*

me
scribbled at
11:38 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Tuesday, April 13, 2004
11:54 PM
I'm stressed. I'm stressed. I'm stressed!!! *screams*

2 more Lit essays to go. 1 of which is due tml. I have band tml. I have no time to do da other one.

Math lec test tml. Probability. Have I ever mentioned how I totally suck at it?? I'm so dead. So freaking dead.

GP debate tml. I haven't gathered my points into a proper argument. I dunno what da hell am I gonna say up there tml.

Argh!!!!

What am I gonna do??!! I am so screwed!!! And itz gonna be midnight already.

Just kill me somebody.

me
scribbled at
11:54 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

Monday, April 12, 2004
9:24 PM
Had a great day today! =)

Many of da geog pple didn't come to sch today..too tired after da trip I guess...in da end Econs ended waaay early and I left early to meet Ling Jie Jie to go shopping in town!!! Ahaha..it was so fun! *grinZ*

We ate Sakae for lunch..her treat again..then really walked alot...shopped around..and she bought me this Ripcurl wallet lah..then still treated me to MOS for dinner...oh manz..thx so much!!! Everytime go out wif you alwiz kena treated wan lah..u nv do let me pay lor...>_< Haiyo..I feel so bad!!! Then u had to keep drawing money..*gosH* Next time it's gonna be MY treat kiez?! I dun care!!! Wahaha...but aniwaez, really thx loads! I had lots n lotsa fun!!! *muackZ* =)

Hee..how often do I get to shop liddat..haha..haven't had so much fun in quite awhile..*smiLeZ* Hmm...should get back to work liaoz..haven't done da Lit essay...*oopS* Keke go mug oreadi..haha... =)

me
scribbled at
9:24 PM

*[dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today]*

.girl in question.
[geri]
[turned twenty ONE on 28th jan!]
[aquarian]
[shopaholic]
[ij to tj to nbs]
[crazy moments]
[can be a biatch]
[2903]

.adores.
[rainbow] [stars]
[trumpet] [sunshine]
[monokuro boo] [tigger]
[shopping] [candy empire]
[family and friends*hugs*]

.take note.
nothing for now.all in my head.

.wants.
|i just want YOU to be alright. recover soon please..|

.current loves.
||my family||

.darlings.
amala amanda amy anneson benji berenice candice cherish cheryl chih lin christina cindy corinne daniel darren dawn deborah dern eileen elayne gerald guanyu huiteng huixun jasmine jeannie jiabao jieying jinyuan joan kingman layleng lianya luther marinah melf mitchelle neo nina ntusb pamela peiqin pyrite's blog sheryl tow boon vanessa wenhui yifen youwei ziyun

.click on them.
baumhouse birks- gso birks- jestel kg friendster haloscan hollister hyper-act! michael phelps club naturlich footshop orisinal who lives near you

.memories.
|tjband|
[syf 2003]
[prelude XXIII]
[prelude XXIV]
[trumpet section 2003]
[band thailand trip]
[trumpet section outing]
[wasbe 2003]
|2903|
[prom 2004!]
[class outing to beach]
[2903 album]
[sentosa]
|iras|
[concen TCOs]
|ij clique|
[bbq at bern's house]